Our collective conscience should apologise for her suicide
Aasha Khosa | April 29, 2016 | New Delhi
I am sorry for pushing you to death. In fact, I have to apologise to you for many things:
• Each time you showed me your mark-sheet, I got angry and lectured you on how you need to do better next time. I should have accepted you as you are and celebrated instead.
• On the day you returned home swathed in the thrill of scoring your first goal in the football arena, I got afraid whether all play and no study would make you lag behind others.
• I forced you to learn formulae of chemicals by rote while you wanted to paint and dance.
•I snuffed the joy of living in the world of Pokemon, Doremon, Shinchen and Chhota Bheem out of your life by introducing you to monsters like IIT and IAS exams at an early age.
•I always saw the beauty of your smiling face, your excellent communication skills and other traits of your personality but never thought these would make you successful in life
• I made your life hell after your 10th standard – as a teacher, I pulled you often and appreciated you less; as a parent I compared your academic achievements to peers and found you wanting.
• As a teacher I made your life hell in 11th standard. Believing it would make you work ever harder, I evaluated your answer sheets strictly. I never thought this would demotivate you and dent your self-image.
• I forced you to attend rigorous coaching classes for medical and engineering entrance exams that went on for hours hoping you would soak in all the solutions of questions that you never quite understood.
• I sent you to an alien town called Kota believing it will turn you into a cramming robot and make sure your entry into an IIT. I remember you sheepishly telling me once or twice that you wanted to become an astrophysicist and I telling you – Usme koi scope nahi hai [There is no scope in it].
• I spent lakhs on your coaching and reminded you about it each time you wanted to give up. I made you feel guilty.
Hope you are living in a better world than this man-made one.
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