Inspired by Oscars, 3rd Front leaders meet to shoot a selfie

...Disperse with date for the next meeting to take issue forward

shantanu

Shantanu Datta | March 3, 2014



Was this the selfie that launched a million tweets,
And beat and singed the topless pics of wannabe celebs?
Sweet Voter, make us immortal with a kiss.
 
In an unconventional break from convention, it was learnt that leaders of the third, fourth, fifth and sixth fronts came together at a convention hall somewhere in an undisclosed location in central Delhi on Monday morning to discuss Ellen Whatshername’s selfie that broke all records, and some Oscar statutes.

Since this was soon after Twitter crashed momentarily – breaking down, the T reportedly asked for some black tea to get back up – tweets sent to several possible leaders of other wannabe fronts could not assemble at the proverbial minute’s notice. We were hiding under the table, nibbling merrily at the Marie biscuits and wondering whether better fare was on offer on the other side of the table, when the hot discussions were going on over steaming hot tea. So excerpts from the bits and bites of the conversation we managed to snatch and steal. Any resemblance with any politician – whether serving, disserving or otherwise – is purely coincidental.

Prakash Karat: Ladies and gentlemen, we have to beat that record. That’s top of the agenda. Imagine, 2 million tweets in just two hours! How many votes would that be (and starts counting)!

Mamata Banerjee: (stops counting) Shell fish, selfie-ish. We cannot be part of any coalition – ei, ki bolchhi sorry –selfie promotion that promotes Maoists and communists.

Lalu Prasad: (counting possible votes in a no-Congress, non-BJP, non-third/fourth/fifth-front and non-RJD alliance real fast till this point, he suddenly stops) Is selfie secular?

Mayawati: Any selfie, by definition, must have an Ambedkar statue and 127 elephant statues in the background. Hence proved = Ellen’s selfie is not a real selfie.

Gurudas Dasgupta: Aye aye; it is only a faux-selfie that pretends to be a selfie because it is funded by Americans and floated on a float that floats on capitalist, worker-throttling media that is social only in name.

Lalu Prasad: (counting possible votes in a no-Congress, non-BJP, non-third/fourth/fifth-front and non-RJD alliance real fast till this point, he suddenly stops) Is selfie a socialist on social media?

Jayalalithaa representative:
(purses lips) All Amma’s tweets get more retweets than that Oscar one.

Omar Abdullah: (looking up from live-tweeting the event) Is she taking Rajnikanth’s help (and then promptly tweets this quotable quote; attracts 38 RTs and 138 favourites)

Mulayam Singh Yadav:
Let’s not digress. What’s a selfie? Shia or Sunni? Will our minority brothers like it?

Naveen Pattnaik: Sitting on the fence of the yard leading up to the door of the house that would host the greatest election in democratic India, we should decide pronto whether a sefie is a self-defeating tweet masquerading as a marauder (to which everyone present in the hall gives him ‘that’ look – staying or going?)

Arvind Kejriwal (honorary guest): Meri kya auqat hai (gets RTed a thousand times – 187 RTs by AAP supporters and rest by NaMo fans). But I have here with me a document that says Twitter is corrupt.

HD Deve Gowda: We must make our stand clear. A third front with Nitish and Jayalalithaa as PM candidates or no selfie (everyone but the Left vacate the hall).

Nitish Kumar: This selfie should help us fetch special status for Bihar. Who is the man in NaMo mask?

Man in NaMo mask: I am not the man in NaMo mask. I am a Twitter representative checking the trends.
 
[And they all leave with a promise to meet again – to decide on the alternative front, and the selfie proposal as well.]
 
PS: With apologies to Christopher Marlowe (I am good at apologies after filching a line or three; I excel in it, in fact).

 

 

Comments

 

Other News

ONGC office wins sustainable building design award

 The state-of-the-art corporate office of oil and natural gas corporation (ONGC), Pandit Deen Dayal Uphadhayay Urja Bhawan,  in New Delhi has won leadership in energy and environmental design (LEED) India ‘platinum’ award by US green building council (USGBC), the highest recognition f

Mumbaiís changing campaign colours

Demonetisation was a factor as candidates in the fray for the Mumbai civic polls wooed people. Though the election commission doubled the expenditure limits from Rs 5 lakh to Rs 10 lakh, some candidates found the going hard as there was a weekly withdrawal limit of Rs 24,000. Rs 10 lakh is way ab

Make Godseís statement public, but donít idolise him

Nathuram Godse, who was brought up by his parents as a girl in the first few years of his life, has been reviled for decades for fatally shooting the apostle of peace Mahatma Gandhi. What Godse said during the Gandhi assassination trial has not been made public, giving rise to considerable speculation.

First coal rake flagged off from NTPCís coal block in Hazaribagh

The first coal rake of NTPC’s Pakri-Barwadih coal mine at Hazaribagh was flagged-off by finance minister Arun Jaitley, Jharkhand chief minister Raghubar Das, union minister of state for power, coal, N&RE and mines Piyush Goyal, and minister of state for civil aviation Jayant Sinha, at Ranchi on

AIMIM to contest Pune civic polls for the first time

“Our corporator is missing,” reads a banner on a defunct lamppost in Shaniwar Peth – a densely populated area in Pune, the second largest city of Maharashtra after Mumbai. Many more sprang up in the nearby alleys, a couple of months before the municipal corporation polls on February 21.&n

How a PSU takes land for mining

On October 1 last year, Mehtab Alam Ansari, 30, who worked as a tailor in Delhi, had arrived in his village, Chepa Khurd in Barkagaon tehsil of Harazibagh district, to celebrate Eid with his family. That morning, he was nearing Dadi Kalan, a neighbouring village, to meet an acquaintance when he heard gunsh

Video

रामदेव को अब 2000 का नोट पसंद नहीं
Digital Transformation Summit

Current Issue

Opinion

Facebook    Twitter    Google Plus    Linkedin    Subscribe Newsletter

Twitter