Mr President, sorry couldn't see your speech. Powerless, you see!

Or what foot-in-mouth political leaders could have said had they been focused on outrage over outage

shantanu

Shantanu Datta | June 9, 2014



So the folks in Delhi are having a hard time figuring out not who is in power but what is power. And while most non-Lutyens’ Delhiites fume, even as they wipe off the sweat – a collection of it would give serious challenge to the water level of the Yamuna – and pick up the dart to hit at imaginary villains on the board, many say the one person who is as invisible as power supply is junior power minister Piyush Goyal.

Goyal, whose smile on telly screens during television wars – a.k.a. debates during the UPA-II administration – could light up a few households, if you go by the Theory of Relative Believability of Orbit Chewing Gum adverts, is sort of invisible from the screens these days. He is also missing in action from Twitter, the official release agency of the incumbent government. So while the power crisis in Delhi hit a new high (or low?) on Sunday, as thousands sweated, fretted and fumed over the catch-me-if-you-can playacting of electricity, Goyal tweeted...nothing.

ALSO READ: Day’s debate – Should scheduled power cuts be extended to VVIPs in Lutyens' Delhi?

One cannot confirm whether the minister’s smartphone suffered from a dead or low battery, like thousands of other phones in the national capital region, but his last tweets were recorded on June 6. And those were the happy, optimistic days, my friend sweating and fretting in Delhi!

“Met Hon'ble Minister of Energy Saurabhbhai Patel, along with his team, to understand the underlying principles from Gujarat's success story,” said the first one fired from his Twitter handle to approximately 88,300 followers.

Two quick ones followed: “My 3 ministries learned a lot about the power issues faced by the states and will address all such policy issues on a fast track basis” and “We also understood the Jyotigram Yojana in great detail & will leave no stone unturned for our dream of 24x7 power, pan India in every home!”

There has been a lull since.

So, in the absence of any rhetoric on the power front – where have all the foot-in-mouth leaders gone, by the way? All taking a break post-Badaun uproar their astute observations created? – we put on our average-Indian-politician’s hat and think up a few. Any resemblance to any neta – talking or not – is purely your imagination.

* If the people cannot have light, let them eat bulbs.

* I condemn the power crisis in Delhi in the strongest possible terms.

* Power failure comes from eating non-vegetarian fare.

* It’s an ISI/ imperialist conspiracy.

* There should be zero tolerance for outage, and I am outraged.

* All outages and outrages are Maoists. Mr Police, come and arrest them.

* We have no love for power, so we will sit on a dharna for power.

* Boys will be boys, and they might do a thing or two during outages (wink, wink).

* Power failure is good for the environment; it forces you to stay off news channel debates.

* Let there be light. Oh, there isn’t? Then read newspapers.

* Was this the fate that launch'd a thousand ‘achchhe din’ ships,  
And burnt the silent walls of MMS?

Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a generator.

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