Phaneesh Murthy must be darned happy. Not because he was sacked this morning as CEO of outsourcing company iGate Corp — people at the rough end of the axe about to fall on them rarely are — but because he might just have fathered a noun and a verb.

Doing some funny business with a colleague of opposite sex in office? Stop Phaneesh-ing colleagues with your peccadilloes, pal, or you could be Phaneesh-ed like Phaneesh – sacked and packed off to face lawsuit(s). That’s called a common noun if found under circumstances made (allegedly) common by Murthy.

Ultra-modern history, of course, got a taste of Phaneesh-ing long ago in a white-coloured house called White House, where the then resident in chief, officially dubbed the president of the United States, indulged in a bit of that, purportedly. But with the Bill to sensitise workers (and chief executives and presidents et al) to honour co-workers failing to turn into an Act, as they put in a circular-shaped building called the Indian parliament, workers (and chief executives) kept indulging in the act.

The question that is confounding many since dictionaries of urban rubbish have reportedly agreed to include the words Phaneeshing is precisely this: why did the same tomes not agree to include Bill as a similar noun and verb for doing the Act with a certain Monica.

One reason could be the problem with the proper noun. I mean, it will sound improper if you ask someone to stop Bill-ing around with a woman colleague in your office. Thanks to the reference to bills in general, even if it’s really about one Bill in particular, the accounts and marketing departments would be the first ones to notify affront. And since those guys in pinstripes go a long way in giving us what Murthy would not (presumably) get next month — the monthly salary cheque — it would be serious enough an injunction on any duel — verb-al, known or un-noun — to work for the uplift of English language and dictionary.

Besides, Murthy’s disclosures to the media on Tuesday — that he was in a relationship with Arceli Roiz, which lasted for a few months before it “was over” and about which he had intimated the iGate chairman, all of which may or may not have been the case with his bond with Reka Maximovitch, who filed a case against him in 2002 that led to his exit from Infosys — could also be instrumental in Phaneesh becoming a proper common noun.

I mean, Murthy did say he was Phaneesh-ed in his bonding with Roiz, didn’t he? And he did inform the boss about the break-up (possibly using a Phaneesh-made telephone set called Nokia), did he not?

So Phaneesh it was: are you Phaneesh-ed? Yes I am. And have you stopped Phaneesh-ing the readers? Yes, I have.
 
PS: He also helped iGate buy a company called Patni Computer Systems in 2011. Oh dear, Patni! Eesh, that’s way to Phanny, eh?