Winter test in parliament looks set for disruptive draw

With less than 72 hours to go for the match, a tongue-in-cheek look at who bowls and bats where in the winter session

shantanu

Shantanu Datta | November 19, 2012



As two gentlemen curiously named Cook and Prior thwarted India’s efforts to wrap up the first Test at the earliest, putting up their bat, pad and everything else before their wickets on Sunday, a motley crew of politicians played out a parliament winter session pre-release promo in several parts of the country’s land and on air.

This being the season of cricket, here’s a look at top five developments in the corner store debating invitation to foreign direct investment (FDI) in multi-brand retail trade over the weekend. Using a bit of cricketing parlance, of course.

* The winter session of parliament seems headed for another round of all-bark no-bite match on a dull and placid wicket, even as the government comes out of its shell, firing all cylinders and playing the retail FDI delivery on the front foot. On Sunday, November 18, with less than 100 hours for the session to get under way, commerce minister Anand Sharma hit the opposition to FDI in multi-brand retail for a clean six, even as West Bengal chief minister Mamata Banerjee fired down the wrong line in her attempt to find the perfect yorker.

“The government is confident of facing any challenge...The prime minister and Sonia Gandhi have demonstrated that this [FDI] policy is cast in stone,” Sharma, amid a fiery spell of bouncers and yorkers, told reporters on board the PM’s aircraft as it zoomed toward southeast Asia.

As if prompted by Sharma’s pre-match braggadocio, though she rarely, if ever, needs prompting, in Kolkata, Mamata Banerjee (allegedly) rang up Sushma Swaraj to get the BJP on her no-confidence bus. But she (allegedly) dropped the return catch as the Lok Sabha leader of opposition was in Mumbai to attend the last rites of Bal Thackeray, the man who had famously got his Shiv Sainiks to dig up the Wankhede pitch to foil BCCI’s party and preferred playing cricket on his own terms and political pitch.

* In Delhi, meanwhile, the BJP kept bowling googlies and wrong ’uns to keep its opposition to retail FDI as clear as its stand on any voting ambivalent. Acknowledging Banerjee’s call to Swaraj, senior party leader Murli Manohar Joshi said, "When Swaraj is back from Mumbai after Bal Thackeray's funeral, we will sit and discuss the issue."

That’s called a Gavaskar defence: bat coming straight down an arc and stopping just before the inside of the front-foot boot to kiss the ball to a dead stop.

The phrase “sit and discuss” is extremely significant, as that has been the main opposition’s main line for the last many days. In fact, so often have BJP leaders used that phrase that murmurs were beginning to be heard in the rival dressing room whether the party would actually go against the usual motion and discuss the issue among themselves standing.

Curiously, or perhaps not quite so, Mukul Roy, Trinamool Congress leader, former railway minister and one of Mamata’s all Men Friday in the party, denied that his leader had dialled Sushma Swaraj’s number, on roaming in Mumbai at the time.

* Back in Kolkata, while Banerjee, for perhaps the first time in her life as a politician, urged even the Left to back her no-trust motion, CPI’s Gurudas Dasgupta went out to bat as the night watchman. “If the Trinamool Congress manages to ensure the support of 50 MPs required to ensure that the motion is admitted, then no one can save this government,” he said, indicating his party’s willingness to bat on the FDI pitch with Trinamool.

Fellow southpaw CPI(M), however, scotched talks of a Left-Right batting combo to take on the Congress bowling attack. According to a report on firstpost.com (read here), party state secretary and Left Front chairperson Biman Bose called the Trinamool-sponsored no-trust vote sheer “gimmickry”. “How many MPs do they have? Let them get the required number first to bring a no-confidence motion against the UPA government,” Bose said, sending Mamata’s Sourav Ganguly-esque friendly medium pace to extra cover boundary.

* Back in Chennai, J Jayalalithaa's AIADMK is slated to meet on Tuesday to discuss Banerjee’s no-trust vote, reports NDTV. This, in effect, means going for a tame draw, as little fireworks can be expected from ‘meetings’ on an issue as hotly debated by political parties on TV studios for weeks on end as retail FDI. Indications for a draw, and thus voting for the status quo, also came over the weekend from the BJP’s Murli Manohar Joshi’s announcement that his party’s would “disrupt the proceedings of the coming session of parliament till the government withdraws its decision to allow FDI in retail,” The Hindu reported.

* Yoga guru Ramdev took guard as well on Sunday and played a few T20-type reverse sweeps and helicopter shots made popular by MS Dhoni. He said, "I support Mamata Banerjee, who is planning a no-confidence motion against the government in parliament. Political parties that aim to work for commoners should support this no-confidence motion. In my view, this corrupt government shouldn't be allowed to govern even for a day.” Such unorthodox strokeplay late in the day infused new life in the warm-up match before the Test series in parliament.

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