Keep calm and be strong for others

What our columnist preaches and practices in tense situations

bikram

Bikram Vohra | May 17, 2013



In every family, there is one person who keeps things under control, never flaps, is the voice of reason, calm and with his wits about him. Strong is the word that springs to mind.

I am that sort of person, much like that guy in the poem by Rudyard Kipling, the sort who keeps his head while everyone else around is kind of losing theirs. You need to be like that, someone has to be. I can hold my emotions. It is a mature thing. Not all of us are blessed by that virtue.

Like last evening we all arrived at the hospital because my daughter was delivering and my wife, Ambika, was a complete mess, all stressed and motherly and fussing about the place. The in-laws, Nirmal and Jyoti, were stretched and drawn like rubber bands, newly weds Nandini and Vishal pacing up and down the tiles like they were doing rounds of the park, with fixed smiles but you could feel the tension ripple like a rogue wave as they tried to maintain a semblance of normality.

There I was, first being the cheerful, relaxed one telling my pregnant daughter Priyanka not to get stressed. This was nature at work, it was all au natural and I could understand why she said, "Dad, can you please shut up because most womenfolk do get a bit het up ten minutes before they deliver." It is these contractions and I am so glad I was able to do my bit. And my son-in-law was biting his lip and I was putting my arm around him and getting coffee for everyone, being the balm and reassuring them that things would go fine, "Relaaaax people, and sit down, don’t be so nervous and don’t catch every nurse that comes by and ask her how things are going, in good time, here have some more coffee."

I think they all secretly admired my poise and my grace under pressure and even the hospital staff were impressed by how I held the family in check from badgering them.

And then at five minutes past four this morning, a little baby boy became a brother to Naya. So what if I laughed a little, cried a little! It was love at first sight and even we iron men occasionally have to soften that hard mettle core… yeah, right.

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