Cricket is cabaret, old chum, and we are the suckers

So, why blame the touts?

bikram

Bikram Vohra | May 18, 2013



Hahahahahahaha….no revelation. Cricketers cheat. Big deal, not as if we didn’t know that! The circus has been in town for years. So why the howl of anguish and surprise that there is a new and sordid chapter being written in this saga?

Do you really watch the IPL for skill and truth and the holy grail? Please. Get a life. The IPL is a set of performing seals doing just that — performing. And it is great fun but you cannot become a purist about choreographed dazzle. I can go to Paris and watch a cabaret, a mela in India and see stuntmen do their thing, visit Rio for the Carnival, attend the Mardi Gras, any of these entertaining fixtures and if I watch IPL with the same mindset then I won’t have my sensibilities bruised. Just have cotton candy fun.

My friend Bicky Carla is upset about being conned by cricketers. Bicky is one smart guy. But if you con yourself into believing a spectacle that is directed and produced entirely for gross profit is a 'give it all you have' contest like some gladiatorial fight to the finish, that is your fault. They never promise you the truth.The ads are designed to create a thrill. The promoters package the nonsense by date and city and the game meanders along happily seeking now highly suspicous cover under the guise of the historical ‘glorious uncertainty’ of cricket, ensuring that the suspense is nail biting.Some of the twists and turns are just too twisty to accept as probable unless the puppet master pulls the strings.

You could be watching a movie, the plot thickens like soup

And then, there is the money. Loads of it. It has to corrupt, there is no choice. Things have gone so out of hand that overnight millionaires and greedy endorsements make every one of these players arrogant and the lure of filthy lucre irresistible. Against this massive magnet we want people with limited IQ and only the ability to hit a ball to resist it? They are not Einstein, they are common guys with common backgrounds, mostly a bunch of kids being shown a Ferrari. What would you do?

Come on, where do you live!

Of course, they will cheat. The current formats are hyped for cheating, the IPl is the cherry on the cake. When ace bowlers can give 29 runs by bowling the worst overs of their lives at the most crucial times!

The IPL is only interested in one thing. Bums on seats.

The cricketers are interested in only one thing. Money.

Same difference.

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