Cricket is cabaret, old chum, and we are the suckers

So, why blame the touts?

bikram

Bikram Vohra | May 18, 2013



Hahahahahahaha….no revelation. Cricketers cheat. Big deal, not as if we didn’t know that! The circus has been in town for years. So why the howl of anguish and surprise that there is a new and sordid chapter being written in this saga?

Do you really watch the IPL for skill and truth and the holy grail? Please. Get a life. The IPL is a set of performing seals doing just that — performing. And it is great fun but you cannot become a purist about choreographed dazzle. I can go to Paris and watch a cabaret, a mela in India and see stuntmen do their thing, visit Rio for the Carnival, attend the Mardi Gras, any of these entertaining fixtures and if I watch IPL with the same mindset then I won’t have my sensibilities bruised. Just have cotton candy fun.

My friend Bicky Carla is upset about being conned by cricketers. Bicky is one smart guy. But if you con yourself into believing a spectacle that is directed and produced entirely for gross profit is a 'give it all you have' contest like some gladiatorial fight to the finish, that is your fault. They never promise you the truth.The ads are designed to create a thrill. The promoters package the nonsense by date and city and the game meanders along happily seeking now highly suspicous cover under the guise of the historical ‘glorious uncertainty’ of cricket, ensuring that the suspense is nail biting.Some of the twists and turns are just too twisty to accept as probable unless the puppet master pulls the strings.

You could be watching a movie, the plot thickens like soup

And then, there is the money. Loads of it. It has to corrupt, there is no choice. Things have gone so out of hand that overnight millionaires and greedy endorsements make every one of these players arrogant and the lure of filthy lucre irresistible. Against this massive magnet we want people with limited IQ and only the ability to hit a ball to resist it? They are not Einstein, they are common guys with common backgrounds, mostly a bunch of kids being shown a Ferrari. What would you do?

Come on, where do you live!

Of course, they will cheat. The current formats are hyped for cheating, the IPl is the cherry on the cake. When ace bowlers can give 29 runs by bowling the worst overs of their lives at the most crucial times!

The IPL is only interested in one thing. Bums on seats.

The cricketers are interested in only one thing. Money.

Same difference.

Comments

 

Other News

AI: Code, Control, Conquer

India today stands at a critical juncture in the area of artificial intelligence. While the country is among the fastest adopters of AI in the world, it remains heavily reliant on technologies developed elsewhere. This paradox, experts warn, cannot persist if India seeks technological sovereignty.

RBI pauses to assess inflation risks, policy transmission

The Reserve Bank of India (RBI) has begun the new fiscal year with a calibrated pause, keeping the repo rate unchanged at 5.25 per cent in its April Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) meeting. The decision, taken unanimously, reflects a shift from aggressive policy action to cautious observation after a signi

New pathways for tourism growth

Traditionally, India’s tourism policy has been based on three main components: the number of visitors, building tourist attractions and providing facilities for tourists. Due to the increase in climate-related issues and environmental destruction that occurred over previous years, policymakers have b

Is the US a superpower anymore?

On April 8, hours after warning that “a whole civilisation will die tonight,” US president Donald Trump, exhibiting his unique style of retreating from high-voltage brinkmanship, announced that he agreed to a two-week ceasefire with Iran. The weekend talks in Islamabad have failed and the futur

Machines communicate, humans connect

There is a moment every event professional knows—the kind that arrives without warning, usually an hour before the curtain rises. Months of meticulous planning are in place. And then comes the call: “We’ll also need a projector. For the slides.”   No email

Why India is entering a ‘stagflation lite’ phase

India’s macroeconomic narrative is quietly shifting—from a rare “Goldilocks” equilibrium of stable growth and contained inflation to a more fragile phase where external shocks are beginning to dominate domestic policy outcomes. The numbers still look reassuring at first glance: GDP


Archives

Current Issue

Opinion

Facebook Twitter Google Plus Linkedin Subscribe Newsletter

Twitter