Rupa Publications, 304 pages, Rs 395

 

Life is a mosaic of rainstorms and rainbows — it offers both misery and meaningfulness. While it tests us with setbacks, turbulence, loss, and trauma, it also blesses us with the gift of resilience. Often, when fear, chaos, and despair take over, we forget to invoke this inherent capacity to rise. Dr Neena Verma, a seasoned practitioner, coach, and educator in leadership, resilience, wellbeing, grief, post-traumatic growth, and therapeutic writing, redefines resilience beyond the clichéd notion of ‘bouncing back’. She guides readers to explore the deep, restorative, generative, supple, and expansive dimensions of resilience.

 

The book introduces two original constructs—‘resilience mindset’ and ‘deep resilience’—derived from Verma’s extensive practice, research, and lived wisdom. It serves as a comprehensive guide to recognizing, kindling, cultivating, practising, embodying, and nourishing your inner resilience. 

 

Here is an excerpt from the book:

 

 

—Epictetus

 

Embody. Yes. That is the way. Hope you recall the concept of everyday resilience that we talked about in Chapter 1. Even if it feels a bit repetitive, it is worth spending some more thought on this important topic. If simple, everyday hassles are inescapable part of our daily life, everyday resilience is our ever accessible resource to cope, resolve and navigate forward. It is our everyday saviour. Let us recall (from Chapter 1) the definition I offered of the phenomenon of everyday resilience: 

 

Everyday resilience is the will and capacity to stay calm, patient, curious, hopeful, mindful, hardy, bouncy, adaptive, ingenious and perseverant, in the face of everyday hassles. Some of these for sure, if not all.

 

Everyday resilience is actually our first teacher and life coach on the path to cultivating and enhancing deep resilience. It is the tiny sprout of everyday resilience that eventually evolves into the lush wellspring of deep resilience that sails us through bigger life-storms and unfurls opportunities for greater growth. When we choose to mindfully activate and practise resilience mindset as an everyday habit, its effects start to trickle into all aspects and spaces of life. Over time, it grows and eventually embeds in our core being as we continue to mindfully nurture and bring to life our deep resilience capacity. It is difficult, no doubt. Especially if resilience is not your natural mindset. Nonetheless, it is possible to consciously inculcate and consistently practise a resilience mindset, every day and every way. How? Well, to each their own will, wisdom and way. For me, it is a bouquet of many things, some of which I share below: 

 

Nature is my life coach, guide, and 2.00 a.m. friend; literally. I often get up in the middle of the night and gaze at the quiet splendour of the expansive night skies that almost always reveal to me some precious insight about life. 

 

My values of appreciation and gratefulness help me look for deeper meaning and possibilities that hide beyond and beneath the hardship. 

 

My belief that resilience co-inhabits vulnerability helps me face my fears and worries with self-aware and mindful strength. 

 

I used to be low on hydration, exercise and sleep. I am improving now, and savouring the positive impact. 

 

The Gayatri Mantra is believed to ‘offer to the sincere seeker the light of the Infinite, the delight of the Eternal and the life of the Immortal.’ The elusiveness of such supreme bliss notwithstanding, Gayatri Mantra does calm and strengthen me in the face of everyday hassles as also major life-storms. 

 

Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem ‘IF’ is my evergreen life guide. 

 

My resilience playlist is a treasure of soulful musical compositions that help me stay calm, think with balance, and act with meaning and resilience. What I need to hear in a moment of crisis naturally starts playing in my mind. There is a long list of books that guide me when faced with a crisis. Of these ‘The Power of Coincidence’ by David Richo is my steady companion.

 

Above all, my children are my wellspring of hope, insight and perspective. 

 

My everyday resilience kitbag has more. I encourage you to recognize values, beliefs, activities, literature, people, songs and more such elements that form and guide your everyday resilience. Follow neuropsychologist Rick Hanson’s wisdom pearl—‘if you have enough raindrops and enough time, you can carve a Grand Canyon.’ Stay consistent in your practice of deep resilience. Identify matters, spaces and contexts in your life that seem most pressing or persistent. Drop-by-drop, keep bringing deep resilience to life in at least a few—if not all—of them, every day and every way. As its cumulative impact begins to spread through all aspects of life, your wellspring of deep resilience will become fresh and flowing.