Shorn of the letter, the spirit of the supreme court’s chastising of the CBI on Wednesday afternoon can have only one implication: the probe agency places a newspaper advert in the classifieds section and officially rechristens itself the criminal bureau of investigation.

And if the BJP’s chastising of the government over the coal blocks allocation scam, and the CBI’s probe report vetting sham is taken in letter and spirit, there can be two implications. The CBI’s name change advertisement being a given, Manmohan Singh and Ashwani Kumar should go to the printer’s and reprint their visiting cards: former prime minister and former law minister, respectively.

But since it the Congress-led UPA whose conscience would measure how long the yardstick is for moral ground, there can be only one implication: none of the above.

What the apex court bench, headed by justice RM Lodha, has done on Wednesday is tell — in spirit, if not in words — the investigators of India’s premier investigating agency that they may read James Bond, might idolise the star agent-slash-investigator of MI6, might even prefer it shaken, not stirred but that’s where the dalliance should wind up. "The job of CBI is not to interact with government officials but to interrogate to find the truth," the court said.

Not that the sharp-suited MI6 agent would not have fancied interrogate officials, but one can be reasonably certain that he would have liked to interact — though not only with officials, and certainly not with male officials — but that is another story.

Here are the apex court’s top 10 observations in which the bench gave it to the government indirectly, via a thorough tongue lashing to the CBI, and who conceded how many goals:

1. “CBI has become a caged parrot speaking in master's voice.... It's a sordid saga that there are many masters and one parrot.” (Goals conceded: CBI 1, UPA 1)

2. Probe report is not a progress report to be shared with government and its officials. (Score: CBI 2, UPA 1)

3. The heart of the report was changed on the suggestions of government officials. (Score: CBI 2, UPA 2)

4. No external pressure, no intrusion in the CBI must be ensured. (Score: CBI 2, UPA 3)

5. CBI must know how to stand up against all pulls and pressures by government and its officials. (Score: CBI 3, UPA 3)

6. No substantial progress has been made in the coal scam probe after registration of the case. (Score: CBI 4, UPA 3)

7. If the CBI is not made independent, we will step in. (score: CBI 4, UPA 4)

8. What business do the two joint secretaries (of PMO and coal ministry) have in visiting the CBI office? (Score: CBI 4, UPA 5)

9. Supreme Court reportedly reinstates original investigating official, Ravi Kant, who had been transferred out of CBI to the intelligence bureau (IB). (Score: CBI 4, UPA 6)

10. A minister can ask for a report but can't interfere with the CBI probe. (Score: CBI 4, UPA 10)

(Final score: CBI’s ears pulled up, Ashwani Kumar set to get a knockout punch)