There is a saying about the old, moustachioed men with a thing for the Patiala peg. Old generals, the saying says, never die. They just fade away.

There’s also a saying about the middle-aged, moustachioed or otherwise, with a thing for the cherry, the willow, the news channels, the face cream, the cheerleaders, the moolah, the IPL calendar and the IPL auction. Old cricketers, the saying never says it aloud, never retire. They just take a single and scamper on to the commentary box.

Unless, of course, you are Navjot Singh Sidhu. In that case you keep running singles continuously, batting sometimes in the commentary box and at times in the parliamentary box after taking part in that jazz form called dance of democracy.

But even in that case, chances are your dancing shoes would wear out sooner or later and you might itch to be back on the box and bitch about the pitch. Or your wife, who shares your first and last name, might itch to bitch about the political party that made you participate in that dance India dance contest in the name of democracy.

While Sidhu’s party boss reportedly rung him up today, Governance Now met the man who appeared to look like the mirror image of the opener-turned-MP. Excerpts from the interview done in front of the mirror:

Q: Your wife says you were sidelined by your party. Your comments?
A: Guru, when a man thinks about the thin red line, he is talking about a movie; when a man talks about sidelines he means the boundary line. And when he means the boundary line, he is thinking about the thin red line. Lo, thhoko taali. The import of my observation is that the world is round, and in a round world, slim are the chances of a boundary line. We will talk about the sideline business when we cross the boundary line.
 
Q: So you are not denying that you would contest the next Lok Sabha elections?
A: Man is a rational animal, and despite the ration shop hopping out of fashion in the season of direct cash transfer, man is also a seasonal animal. We will declare the team after looking at the pitch in the next IPL season.
 
Q: Your wife Navjot says you felt suffocated in the party. Can you elaborate?
A: Since man is man, he gets bowled over by maidens too easily. Thhoko taali! What I meant was, when you bowl too many maiden overs, you suffocate the batsman. The batsman then stops being a human and acts as if he is a superman, trying to step out and hoist you over the infield. That’s what suffocation and being sidelined does, my wife means — you want to step out. You also want to send the agent provocateur or sub-agent suffocator over the infield and out of the sidelines to chat with the cheerleaders.
 
Q: If life is like chicken tikka, what's in your shopping bag after your three terms as an MP?
A: Guru, that is a secret. For now, all I can say is I learnt that Sachin (Tendulkar) is such a great batsman and MP respectively because he got elected to Rajya Sabha and remained absent from most crucial sessions due to his commitments to the selection committee.
 
Q: One last question. How is cricket commentary different from political commentary?
A: Political commentary is like a bikini — it shows everything but the real thing. But cricket commentary is like a bikini beach — it shows everything that you have already seen.