Whaaat? Have the Delhi Police lost its marbles? I mean, Sreesanth received Rs 60 lakh for an over from the bloody fixers? What kind of sad joke is that? Or was it a doosra or wrong ’un by the police?

If this turns out to be false alarm, I will slap; I mean, slap a case against Sreesanth and perhaps some police-wallah as well.

Also read: Mr Tharoor, Sreesanth not guilty but not 'not guilty' either

But Sree getting Rs 60 lakh for either bowling, under-bowling or over-bowling an over? That’s ludicrous, I say. The joker doesn’t deserve more than Rs 6,000, give or take Rs 5,500. In a just, righteous, moral world, Sree should be the one paying the fixers... Rs 500 or whatever to bowl each over — and that is only to compensate for the agony and trouble they undertake while taking bets.
I mean, what was he bowling anyway? Half the time he is bawling, the other half of it he is bawling even more. He is a bawler, I say, not a bowler.

Look at his hair style; in fact look at his style itself. I mean, if you have been caught with your pants down, and a towel stuck in those pants, how can you sleep peacefully? Yes, even in a SpiceJet flight? But as I keep saying, though no one believes me, monkeys keep hankies. Sorry, sorry, that’s unparliamentary; Sachin-paaji has asked me not to use such words, otherwise I will never get a Rajya Sabha nomination.

I tell you, I almost fell off my chair when I saw him on TV: he looked a replica of himself. He was sleeping while the Times Now cameraperson went all around the aisle seat. It was shocking: he was wearing such big goggles. Who wears them anymore? I thought the likes of Mala Sinha and Sharmila Tagore put them on in the 1960s and ’70s. But trust Sree to do anything for publicity. I am sure he took part in this spot fixing business, if it is proved that is, as Shashi Tharoor-paaji said, for publicity. He must have seen there was no hungama happening in IPL this year, so indulged in a bit of monkey business.

But how can Tharoor-paaji support Sree? He’s such a loser. I am sure he is bawling and crying in the police lock-up.

But worse are Delhi’s police-wallahs. That Neeraj Kumar-paaji, who is the police commissioner, said their special cell has hundreds of hours of recordings of phone conversations between the players and bookies. How could they tolerate even 15 minutes of rubbish that Sree unfailingly utters, each time he opens his mouth? I pity the guy who would transcribe those tapes. They could even find Sree discussing hairstyle and hair gel in those taped conversation. But Rs 60 lakh per over? Got to check with Manmohan-paaji whether this is inflationary or deflationary tendency.

(Warning: This is a wrong ’un, not to be played with either straight bat or straight face)