Home minister Sushilkumar Shinde, it seems, is carrying the stick he ought to have left behind in the police station when he quit as a constable. On Friday, he threatened to use it — metaphorically, of course — on the ministry mandarin/s who messed up the message of his statement on the rape and murder of three minor dalit girls in Bhandara, Maharashtra.

While making a statement on the case in Rajya Sabha, Shinde named the victims. When leader of opposition in Rajya Sabha Arun Jaitley pointed out the slip, Shinde went into his super-cop shell, ordering an inquiry into how the names figured in the statement he read out, reports PTI.

"We withdrew the names and deputy chairman of Rajya Sabha expunged it. I have told the (home) secretary to conduct a probe into the matter," he told reporters outside parliament.

While today’s slip-up was enormous and tragic, such gaffes are not uncommon for Shinde though, thanks to his love for keeping his foot planted perennially in his mouth. As a result, he slips and trips a little too often.

But that stick left over from his constabulary days could come in handy for other cases as well, it is learnt. Rumour mills are working overtime, trying to confirm whether the home minister would order an inquiry against his own eyes for omitting what was written in that statement, or his mouth for ejecting the victims’ names aloud, or his brain for allegedly ordering both sets of body parts to do what they subsequently did respectively.

Meanwhile, Mumbai’s informal satta market is learnt to have received heavy bets that his foot could also be within the firing range of his ex-constable stick, primarily due to its proximity to the minister’s mouth.

As parliamentarians left the House after yet another day of much noise and little presence, there were speculations that Shinde’s baton could next be gunning for Shinde’s mouth, again, or his wit for his earlier remark that people will forget Coalgate scam with time, like they forgot Bofors.

The grapevine is abuzz that it could thereafter hit out at Shinde’s sense, or absence, of timing or humour, or both, for saying 2008 Mumbai terror attack convict Ajmal Kasab was hanged without Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi’s knowledge. His nose could also be probed for harbouring an alleged nose for noose.

Speculation is rife that the said stick is already lashing out at Shinde’s collar bones for comparing protesters at India Gate area after the gangrape of a 23-year-old paramedic in Delhi with Maoists. It is learnt that the collar bone is in the firing line since all other body parts are likely to be charged with some gaffe or the other.

There is, however, unanimity that Shinde’s hands would not face an inquiry in any of these instances, for the statements were purportedly not written in any case.