Of peacocks and pea-brains

India’s national bird is now under watch. Its tears matter in an unexpected way, turning on its head centuries of scientific wisdom. This will either get a Nobel or an Ig Nobel

rahul

Rahul Dass | June 1, 2017 | New Delhi


#national bird   #peacock   #Rajasthan HC judge   #Mahesh Chand Sharma  


So, does the peacock do, or doesn’t he do? After a long, long time, the nation wants to know all the bedroom secrets of the peacock and the peahen, thanks to a certain judicial observation.
 
I must make an honest confession. I didn’t have the foggiest about the procreation of peacocks and peahens. I had indeed seen peacocks strutting near peahens, with their bright coloured plumage in full display. But, that was it.
 
I had not seen them going about their business. I did not see any peahen picking up peacock’s tears to impregnate herself. I was bitterly disappointed on never having seen this marvel of nature.
 
Google came to my rescue when I wanted to know more about the birds and bees of the peacocks and peahens. Since leaving school, this was the first time that I took so much interest in biology.
 
One website gave a very scientific explanation, saying the peacock and the peahen procreate through their cloaca. No mention whatsoever of tears.
 
Maybe that particular website had got it wrong, so I checked another one. That too said that the peacocks and peahens do it, just like some other birds. No tears here too.
 
It was a frustrating search. I looked for a video, which over 600,000 people had viewed before I did. Those two, they were some sort of internet stars. They did it like all others. No tears. Damn.
 
Someone from Rajasthan had erred with regard to the peacocks’ tears. There were no teary-eyed peacocks.
 
The peafowl is India’s national bird, yet we know so little about it. This was too much for me. I demand that the school textbooks must have a chapter devoted to peacocks and peahens to clear the air. Indians must know how the peacock and the peahen go forth and multiply.
 
The generations like ours did not know about it and have now finally been enlightened about the peacock’s tears. What about Gen Next. They too must be enlightened. Effort must be made so that they do not end up wasting time over cock and bull stories.
 
The peacocks, incidentally, must be sharing copious tears of joy. For it is not every day, that they are the centre of attraction and much talked about in the social media.
 
And for the twitter user who was wondering whether peahens give births to little peacocks and peahens. No, they don’t. She lays eggs that hatch. What a comedown.
 
Just on the aside, the state where this observation was made has also thrown new light on the battle of Haldighati. We now know that warrior-king Maharana Pratap won the battle against Akbar’s army.
 
Although, the peacock’s tears and the Haldighati battle are no way inter-connected, let it be known that Rajasthan is an opium producing state. This in no way casts aspersions on anyone. In fact, we hold people in the highest regard, even if what they say flies right over the head.
 
The jury is still out on who is pea-brained. It is either all of us or some exalted few.
 

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