The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read *(and maybe a few you don’t)
By Philippa Perry
Penguin, 224 pages, Rs 599

All self-help books have a paradox built-in: they expect the self, that is, the reader to do something, whereas readers expect the book to do something to them. There is all kind of wisdom available in print, but the hard job of putting it into practice is left to the reader. Of course, many of them do offer useful tips and practical ‘life hacks’ that can, with some effort, be put into practice. The ‘How to…’ type books continue to come out, because they seem to help readers – or, at least, readers often get that feeling.

A title that cries out to be written and published is, ‘How to Read Self-Help Books’. A disillusioned, world-weary reader may still pick up a book of this genre and use it, not for tips, but to review one’s own assumptions.

Yet, every once in a while there comes across a book that is no-nonsense, talks to the reader as a friend, and is passed around with strong recommendation. ‘The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read *(and maybe a few you don’t)’ is that kind of book.

The author, Philippa Perry, is an agony aunt for the Observer Magazine, and her ‘The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read’ (2019) was a best-seller. It has been translated into over 40 languages (and the latest volume continues from where it left off). Among her earlier works, ‘Couch Fiction’ was an unusual work, a graphic tale of psychotherapy, and ‘How to Stay Sane’ was published in the School of Life’s famed series.
 
The key idea here is: Life is all about relationships and the quality of those connections, whether that's with family, partners, friends, colleagues or most importantly yourself. If you can get those relationships on a functional and even keel, then the other tricky stuff that life throws your way becomes easier to manage.

These relations are presented here in four chapters: How we love, How we argue, How we change and How we find contentment, covering most parts of life.  In other words: How do you find and keep love? What can you do to manage conflict better? How can you get unstuck and cope with change and loss? What does it mean to you to be content? Are other people just annoying or are you the problem?

The second chapter, for example, presents seven arguments in order to help the reader better cope with conflict in personal and professional lives. The fourth chapter, about discovering inner peace, fulfillment and meaning, covers a lot of ground – from managing stress and anxiety to making sense of life.

In this warm, practical and witty book, Perry shows the reader how to approach life's big problems. With a healthy dose of sanity, her compassionate advice can help many readers become happier and wiser.