So, the EC wants statues of Mayawati and her elephants covered — with any tarpaulin but blue. My autowallah this morning went "1... 2... 3... haha hahaha" at the EC decision. "A few more fistfuls of the taxpayer's money will be spent, yes?" he says. He would rather see more of Maya (in stone, albeit) than have the real flesh-and-blood one use the EC decision to play her brand of dalit politics. “She will ride the covered elephants back to Lucknow, I say,” says Goswami, full-time auto driver, political observer at traffic signals.

"Some would want cycles covered, now."

Goswami's last forced me to think. What, indeed, would I like covered? Or zipped, exiled, shut down. What indeed, as the EC believes, luring me away from good sense?

For starters, there are the atrocious between-a-spermatozoon-and-fungi structures near AIIMS flyover. For "beautification", ahem! Modern is not always art. Take them down. Right. Now.

Lal battis on cars. Whatever happened to the servants-of-the-public concept?

MPs deciding on their salaries. Conceited. And frankly, disturbing.

Congress mouths.  The insensible who speak with arrogance should take a hike. Out of politics.

Versions of Kolaveri Di. And, Kolaveri Di. Enough, already.

The rude urban yuppie (mostly encountered with in Delhi). Zip his mouth. Drain out the power-flexing. Continuous exposure is mutating me into one.

Cricket hysteria. Game's awesome, getting religious about it is not. No worshipping (name a road after). No attacking cricketers' homes, either. Exile for people who bleed blue. Even your cricket 'gods' bleed red.

Internet trolls. Ranting here. Ranting there. Spewing bile.

Rebecca Black's FRIDAY (before you click to check the link, let me warn you: it will be 4 minutes of your life you will never get back. No matter hwo hard you wish). Another universe for her, please.

And then, there's Goswami's namesake on TV. Righteous, but loud. Turn down the volume, please.

These are some of the things I would want covered, zipped, shut down and exiled. Dear readers, tell us what and who would you wish the same fate as the statues of the BSP supremo and her numerous elephants. And, as always, please refrain from anything that could be construed as obscene.