The difference between a good leader and a bad one is thinner than the crust of a good pizza. It could well be defined within the realms of blame game, that favourite Indian pastime: the former usually cops all the blame, voluntarily, while the latter passes it on to lesser minions, usually voluntarily, though seen through a maze of bureaucratic balderdash of putting things in order.

It is but to state the obvious that samples of the latter specimen abound in Indian polity. In fact, there is such a famine of good leaders that ‘leadership quality’ and the permutations and combinations of it — strong, upright, iron-willed, non-corruptible, bold; strong-but-not quite, upright-but-inconsequential, iron-willed-but-carrying-past-baggage, non-corruptible-but-downright-ineffective, bold-but-cantankerous and so forth — have taken the top place in the curriculum vitae of people putting their hands up to lead us, the miserable and not-so-miserable Indians.

Sushilkumar Shinde, the country’s home minister, could well top the list of runners — and aspirants there are a dime a dozen, let no one doubt the country’s talent pool — if the blame-game theory is put into practice. Two reports — amusing and exasperating in equal parts — over the weekend brought that into focus.

Not known for his gift of the gab, the sub inspector-turned-politician had history and ambition batting for him when he took over the reins at the home ministry after abandoning those of the power ministry. History, because it was soon after parts of India faced their worst ever power crisis; and ambition, because for a man who seems to be the reigning deity of drafting daft-talk, he has done well for himself. (He had even underlined the history of the source of that ambition while taking over as the home minister in August last year, thanking the Gandhi family and Manmohan Singh for “taking care of a dalit”.)

In just over seven months since, he has re-scripted his CV a few times, swimming from gaffe to gaffe with aplomb and a wide grin.

But someone out there in Lutyen’s Delhi obviously has a bad sense of humour, forcing Shinde to out his leadership qualities. So, after mouthing legendary stuff like RSS runs Hindu terror camps, PM and Sonia Gandhi had no inkling of Kasab’s hanging, calling a gentleman who India claims is mastermind of the 2008 Mumbai attack “Shri Hafiz Saeed”, outing names of rape victims, equating anti-rape demonstrator in Delhi with Maoists and reading his own statements twice, among others, Shinde has found the bug responsible for a disease commonly identified as foot-in-mouth. It’s those officials in the home ministry, who write his speech.

So on Friday, Shinde decided to fry them a bit. Seemingly angry (tough to imagine but could well be true), Shinde reportedly asked his ministry’s officers to pull up their socks. He even got himself a new private secretary, a joint secretary, made in charge of drafting his statements, and an MHA spokesperson, according to report in Hindustan Times on Sunday.

Quoting sources, another report in Telegraph-Kolkata, on Saturday said drafting of Shinde’s statements “suffered because reports were often sought in haste, just after TV news reports”. The solution? The MHA has written to states that information about any major incident should be communicated to it the same day. “States can even send us a fax with basic information,” the source was quoted.

While the new babus would need oodles of luck, and should pray that their prayers for deliverance of a brand-new more-focussed Shinde is answered, here are five questions for Shinde before his dalit card and proximity with the present lot of Gandhi-jis come handy in the next cabinet reshuffle:

1. When will you start doing some homework (like reading a prepared speech before it is to be read finally) before opening your mouth?
2. When will you pull up your own socks; and in case you are not wearing one these days, your pants? For, the dirty underwear is showing, Sir.
3. Agreed you deserve new secretaries to ensure zero goof-ups but does the country not deserve a new home minister for precisely the same reason?
4. What earth-shaking difference will quicker information from the states deliver that cannot be delivered now? No one believes even sketchy or delayed info honoured Shri Hafiz Saeed back in December last year, so how will “basic information”, even over fax to sneak it in before deadline, ensure you would not honour the gentleman the next time?
5. Finally, which secretary will draft your off-the-cuff remarks, and as it has been painfully written in these columns earlier, (here) hand you a pill against that disease you lovingly nurse, planting your foot squarely in the mouth each time you open it?